Bengaluru Founder Says Urban Parents Are Being Forced to ‘Buy the Village Back’

A post by entrepreneur Aditya Kulkarni has triggered a wider conversation around the hidden cost of raising children in India’s largest cities. Kulkarni, cofounder of Paperplane and Stoa, described modern parenting in metros such as Bengaluru, Gurugram and Pune as a “well- furnished prison” — materially comfortable, but increasingly expensive and demanding once informal family support disappears.

Kulkarni contrasted this with his own childhood, when neighbours, relatives and grandparents often shared childcare informally. For families that later moved to major employment hubs, he argues, that network has largely been replaced by paid support. Nannies, daycare, school transport and even additional space for caregivers or visiting grandparents have turned what was once community support into recurring household expenditure.

His central argument is that urban parents are effectively being forced to “buy the village back.” That also changes the economics of dual-income households. Kulkarni argues that two salaries are often less about lifestyle ambition and more about making housing, childcare and everyday metro expenses work — even as demanding careers reduce the amount of time parents can spend together as a family.

The alternatives carry their own trade-offs. If one parent pauses a career, the financial and professional cost can be significant. If grandparents relocate to provide childcare, they may leave behind their own communities and routines. Kulkarni’s point is not that every urban family experiences these pressures equally, but that each available arrangement can shift the cost between money, time, careers and older family members.

The post resonated widely because it reframes urban parenting as an infrastructure problem, not simply a personal budgeting challenge. As Indian cities attract more young professionals away from extended-family networks, childcare, flexible work, accessible community spaces and stronger neighbourhood support may increasingly shape how livable those cities feel for families — even when incomes and material comforts rise.